There's really no need to panic, but...

...according to a report just out, Dominica is set to trigger a tsunami which may kills 30,000 in Guadeloupe (but no estimate was given of deaths in Dominica itself).

The alarming alarmist study, conducted from the comfort of an armchair somewhere in the UK using Google Earth, reckons 'Devil's Peak' (where?) is set to collapse at any time, triggering a devastating tidal wave "...that would endanger residents and tourists on the island, a French territory." Possibly as soon as 'next week'.

In particular, the sequence of events necessary to threaten poor Guadeloupe would be a magnitude 7 or 8 quake, occurring at the end of a hurricane season. Or Next Week.

Having experienced our last 5.2 quake, I think the last thing we'll be worrying about after a 7 or 8 quake is any inconvenience we may cause poor Guadeloupe.

I don't know which is worse: the armchair scientist painting a Hollywood-style scenario, or the reporter dramatically renaming our mountain 'Devil's Peak' to fit in with the scary scenario. The mountain is actually named after a bird, not a demon.

http://www.bloomberg.com/apps/news?pid=20601086&sid=aW98jsGUIZWE&refer=latin_america

LIAT-related films

"3.10 to Yuma" was delayed out of Antigua
"Man In A Suitcase" might arrive the next day
"Flight of the Condor"  couldn't take of because of a cow on the runway
"Snakes on a plane" were pissed because they didn't get any in-flight snacks

Mrs Malaprop is alive and well and living in Dominica

Maybe it because we're an agricultural nation, but 'crying fowl' is a popular expression. But my new favourite Malapropism is: 'falling on death ears'...